The HARSH TRUTH about getting an amazing girlfriend


Every girl is a stepping stone to an even hotter girl.

—  Niccolo Machiavelli  Mike Haines


I have no idea why my leg looks like a chicken bone here’s. Let’s all just try and get past it, ok?

This post is going to offend a lot of people.

Most people are not willing to do what it takes to get an incredible girlfriend.

They bitch and complain that “women these days are all cheaters / sluts / attention whores / [fill in the blank sour grapes excuse]” 

In reality, if one of these hot slutty attention-seeking girls were to approach a guy like this and ask to be his girlfriend, he’d be over the moon with excitement.

Here’s the cold hard truth about getting an amazing girlfriend which you’re not going to learn in Disney movies or inspirational quotes on Facebook:

Continue reading The HARSH TRUTH about getting an amazing girlfriend

Sour Grapes


“Man is not a rational animal, but a rationalizing animal.”

— Robert Heinlein

A man is wandering through a forest on a hot day, and comes to a tree.

Spying some tasty grapes, he raises his arm to reach them. The grapes look so juicy and appealing, he can’t wait to taste them.

Yet he can’t reach the grapes. He tries to jump up and grab at them, but still they elude his grasp.

The man now has three choices…

  1. He can admit defeat and accept that he’s not tall enough to reach the grapes
  2. He can find a system which helps him to reach the grapes, such as piling some wood at the base of the tree so as to stand on it and extend his reach.
  3. He can play mental games with himself, in which he convinces himself that the grapes he can’t reach are sour. Fuck those whore grapes! They’re all cunts anyway!


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How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say With Women: A Simple “Conversation Hack”


Today I’m going to give you a simple method for never running out of things to say when speaking with a woman.

Don’t use this unless you’re comfortable with turning your mouth into a “conversational fire-hose” which actually cannot stop spitting an endless stream of witty, hilarious banter to any woman who comes within a 1 meter radius.

This method will work even if you’re naturally “introverted”, and even if you’ve never approached a woman before.

Here it is:

Continue reading How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say With Women: A Simple “Conversation Hack”

The Billionaire


My uncle was once invited into the office of a powerful billionaire.

I won’t name this billionaire. All I’ll say is that he’s one of the richest men in the country where I live. 

If you want to picture this guy, imagine a shark in a power suit, with a greying Bill the Butcher moustache.

In other words, this man is basically a pirate.

Midway through the conversation, the billionaire looked my uncle square in the eye and said the following words:

Continue reading The Billionaire

How To Date “Out Of Your League” And Get 9s And 10s (Part II)


Originally posted on r/seduction. See Part I here.


shutterstock_260057864Last week I wrote a controversial post on this sub, provocatively entitled, “How to date out of your league and get 9s and 10s (and why most of you won’t)”.

Though it was upvoted hundreds of times and was by far the most popular thing I’ve ever posted here, responses to the piece were sharply divided.

After some reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that many of the criticisms were right. In the original post, I spent a lot of time deconstructing the limiting beliefs which prevent guys from going for 9s and 10s — but I failed to replace them with a new empowering alternative.

This is a topic that means a lot to me because it took me so damn long to figure out and it was an absolute obsession for many years.

So I took the criticisms into account and stayed up all night drinking coffee and wrote this new, more in depth piece in an attempt to make things clearer.


Should you focus on getting the hottest girls?

You don’t have to make getting 9s and 10s a priority.

Everyone gets into this for their own reasons. Getting 9s and 10s was my reason.

If this is your priority, then this post will help you. If it’s not — not to worry. Do you.

However, it is interesting to see the rationalisations that guys will come up with to justify not going for what they really want but are afraid of.

For example, in response to my last post, many guys commented: “I don’t want to date 9s and 10s because they’re crazy”, or “I prefer the girl next door type — they’re usually freaks in bed”, and so on.

Those are all great arguments.

But let me ask you this.

When you jerk off to porn, what girls are you jerking off to?

9s and 10s.

So — on some level — you DO want to have sex with 9s and 10s.

Because when there’s no risk of rejection — from behind the safety of your computer — 9s and 10s are the women you CHOOSE to jerk off to.

So what I would say to guys who claim they’re “above” going for the super hotties: no matter how much you want to lie to yourself that you don’t want these types of girls, your own private behaviour indicates that you do.

And sure, perhaps you’re attracted to them sexually but don’t want to date them. Fine.

But you want to sleep with them, right?

Otherwise you wouldn’t jerk off to porn.

So just swallow your pride and learn how to sleep with them.

It’s really not that hard. Give yourself the gift of learning to get with incredibly beautiful women. I promise you’ll enjoy it 🙂

(Though the fact that this is even a debate at all is baffling to me, quite frankly, lol.)

Continue reading How To Date “Out Of Your League” And Get 9s And 10s (Part II)

How To Date “Out Of Your League” And Get 9s And 10s (And Why Most Of You Won’t)


Originally posted on r/seduction, where it received more upvotes than anything I’ve ever posted there (628 as of this time). A lot of people messaged me privately to say this really helped them take their game to the next level. Enjoy.


A bitter little troll

I got into game primarily because I wanted to sleep with beautiful women — the“9s” and “10s”.
These girls never paid attention to me in high school, and to be honest I was bitter about it.
I wanted to be the guy who walks down the street with a Victoria’s Secret caliber girl on his arm and have people’s heads turn as they wonder, “Why in the hell is she with HIM?”
So that’s where I started from. A bitter little troll, hungry for status and power. You might think that with such an unhealthy mindset, I’d never get anywhere with game. That’s where you’d be wrong.

Continue reading How To Date “Out Of Your League” And Get 9s And 10s (And Why Most Of You Won’t)

4 Tricks To Get Over Your Fear Of Approaching Women


Mike’s Note: I posted this on r/seduction yesterday. People seem to like it — as of today 224 people have upvoted it. I thought I’d post it here for posterity’s sake. Enjoy.



My current SO, looking friendly as always. I have a weird thing for girls who look like they would have rejected me in high school. 



#1. Make approaching your only criteria for success

When you first start learning this stuff it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You’re trying to do six different things at once that you’ve seen in posts and videos (approach, flirt, joke around, tease her, show intent, venue change, etc.) The result is that you end up doing nothing.

Instead, eliminate ALL goals except the one that matters most: approaching.
When you go out as a beginner, your criteria for what constitutes a “successful night” should be only: “Did I approach?” If the answer is yes, you can count the session a success. If the answer is no, go out the next night and approach this time.

Repeat for 2 months. If you keep it this simple, you WILL eliminate approach anxiety in 8 weeks time. I promise. The key is to keep things simple.


#2. You can’t control people’s reactions. You can only control your own behaviour.

You can’t control another person’s reaction to you any more than you can control the weather.

What you CAN control is whether YOU take Right Action or not.

Think of your powers and abilities as two concentric circles, one inside the other. The inside circle is your behaviour. The outer circle is events, things which happen to you, and other people’s behaviour.

Right now, you can only influence the inner circle — whether or not you take Right Action. You cannot influence the outer circle: people’s reactions to you.
However, the more you expand the inner circle by taking Right Action, the more it will naturally begin to OVERLAP the outer circle.

Eventually you will reach a point where the inner circle completely dominates the outer circle. At this point, you constitute a man who is in complete control of his environment and can influence it however you like. This is what we call “tight game.”

In the words of Jack Nicholson in The Departed: “I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.”

However, you can only reach this point by focusing on expanding the inner circle first. In other words, the only way to increase your influence over other people is to first attain complete influence over yourself. So make taking action your one and only god.


#3. Stop waiting for the “perfect time” to approach. It’s never going to come.

There’s a saying in business: “Timid salesman have skinny kids.”

It goes double for game. There’s never going to be a time that a hot girl starts smiling at you and waves you over. It’s simply not going to happen.

Every approach you do will be imperfect. There are almost no “good opportunities” to approach. There’ll always be a reason not to.

You’ll be at a weird angle to the girl. There’ll be a guy in the set. She’ll be on her way out and stopping her might irritate her. There’ll be “too many people” nearby.

Only when you realise that there’s NEVER going to be a good opportunity to approach will you reach the point of approaching anyway. Slim chances of success? Well, guess what: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.Approach anyway.

Even 1 in 1,000 odds of sleeping with that girl are better than GUARANTEED FAILURE. And if you don’t approach, that’s the only outcome you’re going to get: failure and regret.

#4. Rejection does not exist. There is no rejection. There are only results.

Imagine yourself approaching a woman you’d like to have sex with. She doesn’t immediately react well. She seems nervous and tense, and after talking to you for a while she says she has to go and leaves.

Do you call this rejection?

If so, you’re falling prey to a cognitive bias called the “mind projection fantasy” — which is the idea that the way you see the world is the way it is, and that you’re telepathic and can read people’s minds.

In reality, all we can say about the above example is that your actions produced a result which differed from the one you intended.
To say anything else is fantasy and speculation.

To talk about “rejection” assumes you have perfect knowledge of the girl’s internal state and motivations. You do not, and CANNOT, have such knowledge.

There are a hundred reasons why a woman may not have reacted well that have nothing to do with you as a person, your social status, your sexual desirability, or your appearance.

Maybe her cat just died. Maybe she’s on meth. Maybe her back teeth are coming in and she’s in excruciating pain. You just don’t know. So to assume she walked away because she thought you were low status or too short is literally delusional. It’s actually a negative hallucination: you’re projecting your own imagined fantasies and insecurities onto other people.

Eliminate the word rejection from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word results.

And like in anything else, getting the results you want will be purely a matter of massive repetition.

One man is an expert violinist. The results he produces (the sound gets from the instrument) are exactly what he aimed for, and people adore him for the beauty he’s able to bring into the world through his music.

But when he started learning the violin he could produce only a hideous cacophony which made people hate him. He kept practicing, again and again, and eventually his brain learned the distinctions which allowed him to produce a successful result.

So it is for success with women.

Open your front door.

Walk outside.

Go somewhere where women are.

Talk to one of them.


You could be a hideous freak, it doesn’t matter — the one thing that is absolutely certain in this world is that you will get better at anything you do repeatedly.

The time to start is now.

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How To Get Laid With A “9” Every Weekend Using The Magic Of “Social Momentum”

By Mike Haines

In this post I’m going to teach you what I consider to be the foundation of all success with women.

Without this foundation, nothing else works.

No amount of technique, “inner game” or reading about pickup will get you laid if you don’t have this foundation in place.

This foundation is called social momentum.

The iceberg

Attaining a high degree of success with women is like an iceberg.

At the tip of iceberg is your visible results, such as:

  • That blonde model you pulled home for sex last night
  • The threesome you’re arranging with your friend-with-benefits and her friend
  • Your stunning girlfriend, who’s the envy of all your friends
  • Your ability to score new poon on command whenever you leave your house
  • Your ability to walk into any bar in the world and leave with one of the hottest girls there in under an hour

Only 2% of the iceberg is your visible results.

The foundation of this iceberg — the invisible 98% of it which other people don’t see — is social momentum.

What is social momentum?

Think of it this way. Have you ever had to push a stalled car down the road to get the engine started?

When you and your friends first try to push against the back of the car, it’s almost immovable.

With all of you straining and flexing together, you can just about get it rolling slowly down the road.

As the car picks up momentum, however, it becomes much easier to push. It actually feels lighter. Now one man on his own could easily move it.

As the car gains even more momentum and speed, no more effort is necessary. The engine picks up and the car can cruise along on its own.

Getting laid regularly works by the exact same principle of momentum. 

When you first start going out and approaching girls, failure is constant. Nothing works.

Everyone you approach shuts you down. Hot women at bars look at you like you’re a piece of scum that’s accidentally gotten stuck to their shoe.

If you keep going out and approaching, you start getting better results. Maybe you go out and one girl actually responds well to you.

The next night, a few different girls respond positively.

The night after that, you make out with a girl.

The upward spiral of success

With momentum on your side, what initially seemed impossible — approaching a random woman — is now fairly easy.

And the more action you take, the more momentum you gather. Getting laid just becomes easier, and easier, and easier. Until one day you’re looking around and you realise you’re at the top of the mountain.

  • The women you used to be afraid of are calling you at all hours of the day, desperate for you to come over and “hang out” (i.e. drill them)
  • The guys who used to mock you when you approached their female friends are terrified that you’ll bang their girlfriends while they’re away on work.
  • The clubs and bars that used to terrify you now feel like your playground. You can stroll into any club in the city on your own, sober, and leave with a pretty girl in under an hour… like picking a fresh ripe apple off a tree.


Screen Shot 2016-08-22 at 14.32.27

A peak into my personal life. This is what momentum looks like.



How do you get into and sustain such a state of momentum? Two requirements are necessary:

1. Approach constantly. You must approach women, and you must do so routinely.

When I say to approach routinely, I don’t mean, “approach girls when one appeals to you, or it seems like an easy situation.”

I mean approach regularly and systematically. Only systematic efforts get any results whatsoever.

Make a decision that you will go out at least 2-3 nights per week and approach women. Do this every week without fail.

If you think you’re going to get good at this without putting in the time on a consistent and routine basis, I’ve got news for you — you’re not.

That’s like people who go to the gym “whenever they feel like it”. Sometimes they go three times a week. Sometimes they don’t exercise for 2 weeks straight. Are they going to get ripped? The answer is no.

This brings me to the next point…

2. Don’t be a dabbler. If you want to regularly sleep with gorgeous young girls — the types of girls you see on magazine covers and in porn — I’ve got news for you: you can do it. It’s possible. 

I do it — and I’m neither charismatic nor handsome.

But you must make a commitment. You have to be out in the field, approaching women on a consistent basis.

This means formulating a gameplan (go out twice a week and approach women), and actually sticking to it.

Most men are neither willing nor able to do this, and that’s the reason they’ll never have a girlfriend who looks like a Playboy bunny. Not their looks, not their height, not their age, not their “introversion” — but their lack of self-discipline.

Everything is earned. The universe rewards those who are willing to work. As for those who are not — enjoy life in hell.

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How To Have Sex With A Woman You’ve Just Met (The INSURGENT Guide To Same Day Lays)

By Mike Haines

IMG_2811 copy

In this post you’re going to learn how to turn a conversation with a woman into sex, and to do so within hours — not days — of meeting her.

I’m currently in a relationship with the girl pictured left, but at my peak of being single, I was able to score new pussy about once a fortnight. I rarely hooked up with girls below an “8” in attractiveness, and pulled 9s and 10s fairly regularly.

What follows is the system I discovered for getting same night lays on command.

 Don’t have time to read the whole thing now?

Get the ultimate guide to the Same Day Lay as a convenient, downloadable PDF.

Just put in your name and email below and I’ll send you a PDF of this entire guide so you can read it later.

Who this guide is for

This is NOT a guide on the basics of game and approaching women.

It’s written for a guy who can already:

  • approach a woman
  • hold a conversation with her
  • get enough “attraction” to get the occasional makeout or phone number, but doesn’t know how to convert to same day sex

If that’s you — this will work for you.


Your ability to pull “same night lays” will be determined by two things: your actions, and your beliefs.

If you hold self-limiting beliefs about sex and hooking up, it will prove immensely difficult to pull a girl home for sex within hours of meeting.

It follows that before we can get into tactics, we have to address the elephant in the room: beliefs.

Limiting Belief #1: “Get real, women aren’t going to have sex with some guy they’ve just met.”

Sex occurs 120 million times per day, according to the Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behaviour.

That’s five million sexual encounters an hour, 83 thousand a minute, 13 hundred a second.

Do you think it’s likely that every one of those couples is in a long-term committed relationship? Of course not.

Let’s say 10% of all sex occurs between people who just met an hour before. (Personally I think that’s an underestimate, if anything.)

That’s 12 million random spontaneous hookups a day.

If we estimate that 2 million of those happen between gay couples, then roughly 5 million women a day are having sex with some guy whose last name they don’t even know.

Still think it’s impossible to have sex with a woman you just met?

The reality is that it’s not a big deal. Girls go out to clubs and bars to meet guys. They get lonely and bored and want to cuddle with someone just to feel a warm human body next to them, and also potentially have sex.

If you understand that having sex with a woman you’ve just met is “not a big deal”, you’ll be less tense about it and more likely to pull.

Limiting belief #2: “A cute girl would never want to go home with me. I’m not good enough.”

You’d be surprised what passes for good enough these days.

Most guys in their twenties are such total fucking faggots that if you have high testosterone levels and can look a woman in the eye, you can clean up.

Girls are waiting for a man to come along to sweep them off their feet.

Notice I said man, not “guy”. Most males today are “guys” rather than men.

If you’re a man, you can pull girls home within hours of meeting them. Trust me. Women are so starved of masculine energy these days, they’re willing to lower their standards by a hell of a lot.

Really, you just have to approach them, stay in set long enough for them to get comfortable with you and a lot of times they’ll actually ask to come home with you. 

It’s sad actually. Millennial women find it so hard to find a man who isn’t a complete pussy that they’ll even settle for terrible, obnoxious assholes like me.

I don’t even make an effort anymore. I roll up to the club — alone — in a black hoody and black jeans with cum stains all over them, not even trying to be charming. I stand around drinking a beer, approach a few chicks, and within about an hour I’ve got women throwing themselves at me.

Why? I’m not a good looking guy. But I am a man. And men are in short supply these days.

What is a man, and how do you become one?

It’s pretty simple:

  1. Get your testosterone levels up by lifting heavy weights
  2. Look people in the eye, speak loud, and have good body language
  3. Approach girls regularly
  4. Be physically expressive (lightly touch women in a playful, inoffensive way throughout the interactions)

If you can do these four things, congratulations: you’re better than 80% of guys out there. Welcome to the top. The girl is going to be drawn to your masculine energy just as you’re irresistibly drawn to her natural femininity.

Mechanics of the same day lay

Now that we’ve got the fundamentals covered, let’s get onto the main event: the actual mechanics of taking a girl home for sex within an hour or two of meeting.

This formula for taking a girl home is called The Way of the Sly Man.

While other men devise complicated and elaborate schemes to get a girl home with them, the Sly Man knows something other men don’t.

The Sly Man is lazy. He makes less effort than other men do — yet he somehow manages to get triple their results.

The Sly Man’s method is not flashy or impressive like the Mystery Method or Julien Blanc’s style of game.

In fact, the Sly Man appears not to have very good “game” at all. He’s not very witty. He doesn’t have flashes of brilliance which leave the girl spellbound within minutes of opening her.

Yet night after night, he leaves the club with a Barbie doll blonde on his arm.

People suspect that the Sly Man is cheating, or has found some way to “hack the system”.

But they can’t figure out what he’s doing, because when they analyse his sets, he doesn’t appear to be “doing” anything.

The Way of the Sly Man can be thought of as the minimalist guide to pulling. These are the bare essentials — the simplest possible things which work to get a girl home with you.

The simplicity of this system is what makes it work so well. You don’t have to remember a dozen different techniques and concepts: you just have to get decent at 4 basic micro-skills, which together constitute the “steps” of this system. 

These are:

Step #1: Approach

Step #2: Hang out

Step #3: Lead

Step #4: Pull

Step #1: Approach her.

Keep the approach simple. Tap her on the shoulder, smile, look her in the eye and say “I’m Mike, who are you.”

Is this going to make her pussy wet?

No. The Sly Man has no interest in making a girl horny in the first minute of the conversation.

In fact, if anything, the Sly Man wishes to make the initial approach as boring as possible. He knows that women are easily spooked, like little mice, and that if he comes off as too charismatic it is only going to make the girl nervous.

As such, the Sly Man wants to come in under the radar.

He might approach with the following:

  • Hi I’m Mike, how you doing
  • You’re adorable, what’s your name
  • I love your outfit, it’s very nice

Simple stuff. Nothing flashy. Nothing complicated.

Another thing you can do is to lightly hug the girl off the approach. Not sexually — just in a friendly, positive-dominant way.

This establishes the frame that you’re not afraid of her, and that you’re able to get physical. Very important. 

Step #2: Hang out

A woman can’t become attracted to you until she’s familiar with you. This means that attraction is impossible in the first 10 minutes of the interaction, let alone the first 10 seconds.

The Sly Man knows a secret that other men don’t know. He knows that a woman cannot become attracted to a man she doesn’t know. It’s simply physiologically impossible.

He also know, however, that there’s a flipside to this. If he stays with the girl for a long enough period of time, she will inevitably grow attracted to him.

He knows this because he is a man, and she’s a woman. And men and women are meant to get together, like a key and a lock.

Time is your ally

As Alexander expressed it, “The God Particle, the dark matter that makes all of seduction work, is the understanding that TIME IS YOUR ALLY.”

The longer the girl spends with you, the more relaxed she will become. And only when she’s relaxed around you can she begin to become attracted and aroused.

This is precisely the thing that most men do not understand. They think women think like they do.

A man sees a woman and he’s immediately attracted or not.

For women, attraction is more complex. If there are 100 guys reading this post right now, I can assure you that nearly every one of you is potentially attractive to a woman.

Women like men. They like “male-ness”.

But of those 100 guys, the one the girl is going to go home with is the one she has the best relationship with. In other words, the one she’s spent the most time with.

Don’t believe me?

Look around next time you’re at the club. Do the hottest women always leave with the best looking guys?

Not by a long shot. Often you’ll see some of the hottest girls leaving the club with fairly dorky little guys. She could have any guy there but she chose him. Why?

The answer is because she knows him. Either they knew each other from before, or they met that night but spent so much time together she now feels totally familiar with him.

Even if that girl would logically prefer to go home with the jacked tall guy, she’s not going to — because she doesn’t feel comfortable around him. He’s a stranger.

She feels comfortable with the dorky guy, because they know each other, and so she’ll end up sleeping with the dorky guy, and potentially having a relationship with him.

So take all the pressure off. Don’t try to impress, or attract. Understand that time is your ally, and simply stay in set. Nature will do the rest of the work of attracting her.

“Premature ejaculation”

Most guys find it very difficult to just hang out with a girl. They feel like they’ve got to impress her with witty game and hilarious banter.

When they “run out of things to say”, they leave set. They literally “reject themselves”.

After approach anxiety, “premature ejaculation” (leaving the set for no reason) is the single worst bad habit you must eliminate if you wish to sleep with hot girls the same day you meet them.

It’s tough at first. You’re standing in front of a girl. The conversation has gone dry. You can’t think of a thing to say. The silence is deafening. She looks bored and awkward.

How do you overcome this? You have to learn to Fluff Talk.

Fluff talk

After approaching, learning to “fluff” is the single most important skill you’ll develop in game in the context of same day sex.

Look at it like this:

In the first 30 minutes of the interaction, your aim is not to attract the girl. Your aim is to relax the girl.

In other words, your goal is simply to calm her down, to allow her to become comfortable with you. She’ll appear tense and indifferent in the beginning as a result of being self-conscious, but if you stay in set, she’ll gradually start to relax and become warm and affectionate towards you.

What you say doesn’t even have to be good. It doesn’t matter if it’s not funny — just so long as it’s light and playful and it keeps the conversation flowing.

Here’s how my interactions with women I later sleep with look:

Me: Hi I’m Mike, who are you.

Girl: Hi.

Me: I like your shoes. They kind of look like clown shoes. No, I’m just kidding they’re nice.

Girl: Haha shut up!

Me: I was just at the beach, it was so amazing. I hate this club. I wish I was back at the beach.

Girl: Omg I know! I love the beach

Me: I think I’ve seen you here before. You used to have blue hair, right?

Girl: Haha no I never had blue hair, that wasn’t me.

Me: Don’t worry, you don’t have to lie, I think the blue hair suits you.

Girl: I’ve never had blue hair in my life, what’s wrong with you?!!?

Me: Settle down. I’m just fucking around. I bet you go to college at [XYZ University], right?

Girl: I do…

It usually goes on like this for about an hour or two and eventually I bring her home with me and we have sex.

Good game? No. Witty and clever? No. But effective? Yes. 

Now you’re probably looking at that and thinking… WTF? That’s retarded. How is this turning the girl on?

The answer is it’s not. The purpose of conversation is not to turn her on but simply to be a calming influence on her. To disarm her defensiveness and skepticism. To put her at ease. And you do this by being a little bit childish.

Think of how you talk to a girlfriend. Goofy, innocent, light-hearted conversation. You’re not trying to impress — you’re barely even aware of what you’re talking about.

Do you “run out of things to say” with your own girlfriend, or with your friends? Of course not. So be the same way when talking to girls in the bar — in fact if anything dumb it down even more.

Lower your standards for what’s “good enough” to say. In fact, destroy the standards altogether and just spout random nonsense if you like, like you’d do if you were talking to a small child. It’s calming to the girl. It puts her at ease around you.

How to develop your “embarrassment resistance muscle”

You can’t get a same night lay if you leave set. You need to spend at least 45 minutes or longer with a girl for her to be comfortable going home with you.

This is a problem for many guys learning game, because they simply cannot stay in set. It literally pains them to do it.

But do it they must, because if you’re only having short interactions and never building a longer “relationship” with the women you approach, you’ll neither get sex nor solid numbers.

Start small at first. Next time you’re in set and you want to leave, just force yourself to stay one additional minute.

It’s hard. There’s pressure to leave. The girl is looking around like she wants you to go.

Just stay in there for a minute longer than is comfortable. Talk about anything. If you can’t think of something, then just stand there.

Next time, stay in a little longer. The next time, stay in set longer still.

It’s like building a muscle. Little by little, you’ll build up your “embarrassment resistance muscle”. And then you’ll be able to comfortably stay in set for hours and just talk shit endlessly.

Step #3: Lead her around physically (venue change)

Leading is incredibly important for getting the same night lay.

What do I mean by “leading”? Soon after meeting a girl, take her by the hand and bring her with you to a different area of the bar.

Don’t ask. Just lead.

This seems kind of “weird”, but girls will usually come with you without asking questions. If she resists or refuses to come, simply say:

  • “Let’s get a drink at the bar.”
  • “Come with me to the dancefloor”
  • “Let’s go outside for a cigarette.”
  • “Come with me. I want to get some fresh air.”

It’s important here to command, not request. Girls don’t like being asked. They like being told. It makes them feel like they’re with a man who knows what he’s doing. It also signals that you’re good in bed.

Time distortion

Lead the girl around to different areas of the club constantly. If you meet her in the day, lead her to different spots — different cafes, shops, parks, etc.

Motion creates emotion.

The more different environments you experience together, the more attached to you the girl will feel. The vibe becomes one of a “couple” or a “team”, rather than two independent people. 

Bringing the girl around with you also triggers something called “time distortion”. The more different things you do with a person, the more time it feels like you’ve spent with them.

For example, you could sit in one cafe with a girl and talk for two hours. By the end of it, she might know you a little better, but you’ll still feel like “some guy” she just met.

But spend the same two hours doing lots of different activities with her — window shopping together, meeting your friend, having a beer at an outdoor cafe, sitting in the park, etc — and by the end of it she’ll practically feel like you’re already dating.

This is very powerful. Most girls don’t want to have the self-image of going home with a guy they just met, so the more you can give her the “intuitive feeling” that you’ve spent a lot of time together, the easier it will be to pull her.

You do this by LEADING. Lead early on, and lead constantly. Lock arms with her and bring her to a different area of the bar. Then a different one. Then a different one.

By the time you take her hand to pull her out of the club, she’ll reflexively obey. You’ve already established that rhythm so it doesn’t feel jarring or unexpected.

Secrets of the 15 minute pull

If you get good at leading women around constantly, it will sometimes even happen that you end up going home and having sex within as little as 10-15 minutes of meeting.

This has only happened to me a few times — but you better believe that every time it did, it was a direct result of me leading the girl around to many different areas of the club.

When you do that, 15 minutes together can feel like an hour. Then when you invite the girl home, there’s a lot less resistance because she feels like she’s seen you in enough different “contexts” that she has a pretty good read on the type of guy you are.

For a woman to have sex with you, she must feel like she knows you.

Emblazon the following maxim into your brain:

Women don’t have sex with the most attractive guy. The have sex with the guy they have the best relationship with. (Credit: Alex)

Step #4: Create a “slippery slide” from the club to your bed

Imagine yourself sitting at the top of a slide in a playground. The length of the slide has been greased with baby oil. So have the side rails.

As your body starts to slide down, you try to halt your descent, but it’s too slippery. There’s nothing to hold onto to slow the momentum created by gravity and you find yourself irresistibly pulled all the way to the bottom.

This is how the women you meet must experience the process of ending up in your bedroom.

One thing leads to another until inevitably she finds herself back at your place, enjoying a drink with you alone and getting horny. How did she get here? She doesn’t really know. She can’t pinpoint any particular moment when she decided to come back — all she knows is that one thing led to another until she found herself naked in your bed and nuzzled up to your chest.

Where most guys screw up

They ask the girl straight up: “Wanna come back to my place?” or “Wanna Netflix and chill?”

This kind of request will usually get rejected, first because you’re “asking” not leading, which is a turn off.

Second, because even if the girl does want to go home with you, she doesn’t want to seem like a slut, so she’ll say no to preserve her dignity and avoid feeling ashamed.

Don’t force her to make a decision

Leaving the club to go home with a guy she just met is a major decision. Decisions are scary. People don’t like making them.

Instead, bring her though a series of “micro-decisions” which are so small that they’re easy to say yes to — and which lead her inevitably closer and closer to your bedroom.

This is how you create the slippery slide.


  1. While in the bar with the girl, take her arm in yours and lead her to the front door.
  2. If she resists, say, “My friends just texted me, they’re at the front door, let’s go meet them quickly and then bounce back here!”
  3. By the time you get to the front-door, look at your phone and tell the girl  “Damn, looks like my friends left. They’re over at the pizza place across the road. I’m starving, let’s go eat. Then we’ll pop right back here. Make sure you keep your band so you can get back in.”
  4. The girl will say yes, because this isn’t a big ask, and because you’re giving her plausible deniability to leave the club with you. Think about it. If one of her friends later says, “Why did you leave with that guy?” she can tell them, “We just left to get food. But then one thing led to another and…”
  5. Have food with the girl. You’re now on what’s called a “mini-date”. It should now prove immensely easier to get her back to your place. Suggest “popping by” your apartment for a drink.
  6. Don’t make it a big ask. Just invite her over for “one drink” and imply that she’ll be leaving afterwards.

The way you phrase this request is very important.

I’m not a fan of pre-prepared scripts and routines when picking up girls, but at this key transitional moment in the interaction, you need to be prepared in advance with a smooth transition.

For a long time, I would just blurt something out like, “hey wanna come back to my place for a drink?” Or, “Wanna Netflix and chill?”

But then the girl would give me an objection like “I’m not that kind of girl”, or “I can’t tonight, I have to get up early tomorrow”.

Suddenly I’d become deflated like a burst balloon. The rejection took the wind out of me — I just didn’t know how to come back from it once she’d refused my first request. 

If you’re interested, I’ve created a short 1-page “cheat sheet” which will give you the word-for-word script that I now use to get any woman to come home with me.

This simple script is only 9 sentences long, but it uses a covert hypnosis technique known as “pacing and leading” which makes it practically impossible for a woman to say no to staying the night at your place. 

Curious? Just enter your name and email below for instant access to the free cheat sheet.

Get my 9-sentence “script” for getting nearly any woman to come home with me (even if we just met less than an hour before)